Spiritual Leanness

"They [Israelites]soon forgot his works; they waited not for his counsel: But lusted exceedingly in the wilderness, and tempted God in the desert. And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul." Psalm 106:13-15

If God gave us everything we wanted when we wanted it, I do not believe that we would be truly happy. What we think is best for us is not always what God thinks is best for us because He sees the entire picture when we don't. However, I do believe that God sometimes gives in to our foolish requests, even though it might not be His best for us, because of our stubbornness to have it our way. The Israelites experienced this when they were in the wilderness, murmuring about how hard they had it. God had just done an amazing work by parting the Red Sea and allowing them to cross over when they began to complain about the manna that God provided for them. They wanted meat to eat. Psalm 106:14 says that the Israelites began to lust exceedingly and tempt God. You know what God did? He decided to give them what they wanted. Verse 15 says this, " And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul." What does this mean? God sent them flesh to eat. He gave them what they wanted. As a matter of fact, He gave them so much quail that it literally came out of their nostrils (Numbers 11:20). Gross, right? The verse goes on to say, however, that with their request, he sent "leanness to their soul." What is leanness? Leanness means thinness. In some commentaries, leanness equates to starvation. So, what this means is that although God honored their request and gave them what they wanted, He left their souls starving. They were fed with their immediate physical need, but they missed out on seeing God truly provide for them which left their souls spiritually wanting.

Here's what I'm trying to say. We chase after experiences, hobbies, money, careers, jobs, education and entertainment in hopes of satisfying that nagging sense of longing we feel on a day-to-day basis. Some even chase after relationships in attempt to satisfy that longing and emptiness, but even after that new relationship has begun, the soul is still starving for something more. Our stubborn desire for immediate gratification and God allowing it leaves us spiritually bankrupt, or spiritually "lean" because although we are getting our physical desire answered, our soul is still starving for Him. The human soul longs to be satisfied by God and God alone. Our flesh may deceive us into thinking that other things can satisfy us, but we quickly see that once those wants are met, we still feel the same, or worse.

What is the remedy? Trust that God's manna is better for you than anything else this world can offer. Eat from His table daily. Eat of Him daily (John 6:51). I leave you with our bishop's words to us a couple of weeks ago. He simply put it this way, "God is most glorified when we are satisfied in Him." Allow God to satisfy you and feed you with the fatness of his presence. Then, and only then, will your soul be content.

"...I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness..." Psalm 63:4-5

"I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world." John 6:51

I am passionate about your spiritual empowerment,

April

No Fear! A Testimony for those Who Experience Panic Attacks

Starting when I was nineteen years old, I struggled with panic attacks every single night for 2 1/2 years.  Ask anyone who knew me, I slept very little and dreaded going to sleep.  I would go to sleep, but would wake up as if someone had scared me out of sleep, my body would shake uncontrollably, and my heart would race. Sometimes, it would take hours to get back to sleep.  I was so shaken up that it was even hard for me to call on the name of Jesus at times. Although I don't believe that the enemy caused these attacks, I do believe that he tried to use these attacks to make me feel timid and lose my confidence in God. I was tired (as you could imagine) of experiencing these attacks and in my prayer time, asked God to help me.  The help did not come right away.  I believe that God was trying to force me to be bold and commanding against the enemy, which I was not.  The enemy had me right where he wanted me, scared and intimidated. I didn't have the strength to command the fear to leave me. One night I went to a church service at a United Pentecostal church in our area and the preacher brought forth a word on fear.  He invited anyone up who was experiencing fear to come up and be delivered. I knew that word was for me.  The moment this man of God laid his hands on my head and prayed for me, I believed in faith that God had healed me.  I went home, and for the first time in years, I slept like a baby, God's peace saturating my mind.  Then God started working on me.  I began to hear his voice speaking to my spirit telling me that He was not done with me yet.  He may have relieved the anxiety for the moment, but I still had not learned the lesson He wanted for me.  He wanted me to learn that I had power over the enemy and his tactics of fear and I had the right, as a daughter of the most high, to cast out that fear and command peace into my life.  In my prayer time, I began to ask God for boldness in the spirit and I believe God began to answer me.  A short time later, the panic attacks came back, but this time, I was ready.  I spoke to the fear that tried to overcome me and commanded it to leave in the name of Jesus.  Guess what?....The fear LEFT.  From that point on, I went to sleep every night knowing that God had my back and that I had the power to overcome.


Panic attacks are usually a result of our poor habits like not getting enough sleep, allowing stress to come into our lives, and sometimes,  not giving problems we are facing to God like we should.  When I first began to experience panic attacks, I was in college, and therefore, was very stressed, did not have a consistent sleeping schedule, and was pulling all-nighters writing papers etc.  I know that my own bad habits caused the panic attacks.  However, the enemy will take what he can to paralyze us and that is exactly what he did.  He used these attacks to put fear in me and he does the same in others.

 We must find the courage to use the spiritual authority that God has given us to bind that fear and cast it out.  It has no place in our lives.  It's been years since I've had those attacks, but just a couple of weeks ago, they tried to sneak back  into my life.  In one night, I had two attacks.  Just when I was about to get discouraged, I remembered what I learned. I told God, this is not your will and I speak peace into my life right now.  I laid down and closed my eyes.  I don't know exactly when it was, but I remember dozing off, still feeling tense, when all of a sudden, I felt something so peaceful enter my room and saturate itself in my spirit.  I literally felt like a spiritual tranquilizer hit my body.  I knew God was right there with me and I knew that everything was ok.  I learned the lesson and I'm glad that God didn't just take away the problem, but allowed me to learn how to deal with it.    I pray that this will encourage someone to take up the authority God has given you and live in the peace that God has for you.