The Virtuous Woman When She Was Not So Virtuous

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies....Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all."
Proverbs 31:10-31

Julia Child was a famous American chef who introduced French Cuisine to American households. There are countless books containing her marvelous French recipes and countless more books written on her exquisite life.   I recently read a quote which read, "Julia Child wasn't always Julia Child".  At one time, she was an ordinary wife who struggled with cooking and didn't even know how to probably boil water. Yet, this part of her life is rarely focused on. We focus more on her final outcome than the process that she underwent to become this amazing chef.  Don't we often do the same thing...praise the outcome, but not the journey that led us to the final success?   I began to ponder about the life of an even more special woman- the Proverb 31 Woman, or the Virtuous Woman as we know her.
      For the longest time, I avoided reading Proverbs 31 about the virtuous woman or woman of excellence. To me, she represented perfection and something I could never be. Think about it, she makes her own clothing, she gets up in the wee hours of the night to prepare meals for her family, she's in real-estate, she has a job in agriculture, she also works in sales, and she volunteers to help the needy, all aside from being a full-time wife and mother. To add, she is also able to maintain a fashionable appearance, she's not a gossiper, and she's doesn't waste or squander her time. Wow!  We've got a Ms. Superwoman on our hands. Her discipline and her life balance put me to shame. I'm lucky if I can even grab a frozen lunch from my freezer on my way to work in the morning and here she is cooking up a storm in the early hours of the morning. One afternoon, as I read about this virtuous woman, I rolled my eyes to her. Oh please....like that could ever be me. Then I heard Him. God whispered in that still small voice, April, this woman of excellence didn't just become excellent over night. It took time and practice.  She wasn't  always so virtuous. She had to start somewhere. This got me thinking.  The woman in Proverbs 31 is described as someone that her husband could trust, but we never hear about the times where she messed up, ran up the credit card, lied to her husband, and had to work towards gaining back his trust again. We read how she reached out her hand to the poor, but we don't know about the time that she got burned out and tired of helping people, secretly wishing that they would get a job and help themselves. We don't read about the time she avoided Sister Susie because she knew that Sister Susie would again ask her for another favor or for another loan. We read that she wasn't a gossiper, but what about the time that she accidentally repeated something that she wasn't supposed to and had to humble herself before that person and ask their forgiveness?  We read that she wasn't prone to eating the bread of idleness, but what we don't know is that there were days that she spent too much time watching soap operas instead of praying and too much time on Facebook instead of meditating on the Law of God.  We know that her children praised her, but she'd cringe if we knew about the time she screamed at her kids and husband in a moment of frustration. Lastly, we are told that she was a woman of strength and confidence, but we don't realize how many times she was overwhelmed, tired, and weary from all her responsibilities, secretly wondering if she'd be able to maintain this balance that seemed to be hanging by a thread.  No, we don't know about this part of her life, the part of her life that was not so virtuous. The journey of the virtuous woman was probably not an easy one. Yet, her life experiences and failures were stepping stones to becoming the woman that God intended her to be. The same goes for us.  There is no such thing as perfection, but we are a work in progress.  Don't condemn yourself for your flaws and short-comings, but see them as bridges that God can use to create growth in you.  Realize your need for Jesus and lean on Him. A special note for single women- if you're not married, realize that you will not get married and all of a sudden be this amazing wife and mother. Proverbs 31 says that the virtuous woman did her husband good and not evil all the days of her life. This includes that time before she was married.  She took that time to cultivate herself and her talents, time to gain wisdom and understanding, to draw close to the creator of her soul.  My advice is simply to start now. Start the journey of being that amazing woman of God.  It will not happen overnight. There will be times you fail terribly, but get back up, let God wipe your tears, and keep pushing forward.  One day, just like a caterpillar transforms into a beautiful butterfly, we we will eventually transition from that  not-so virtuous woman to that amazing woman of excellence to the praise and glory of God. 

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