A New Year's Resolution

"And he came out, and went, as he was wont, to the mount of Olives; and his disciples also followed him.  And when he was at the place, he said unto them, Pray that ye enter not into temptation. And he was withdrawn from them about a stone's cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground." Luke 22:39-44


   As the start of a new year approaches, our goals and resolutions for the new year have been drafted, if not already finalized.  So many have already declared 2012 to be a year of blessing and prosperity as they say goodbye to a year that brought so many trials and storms.  Each year, I hear this positive declaration (and by all means, there is nothing wrong with this), yet year after year, it seems as though the trials have only became stronger as new valleys are experienced.  I am sure this year will have its victories and triumphs, but I am certain that it will also have its testings for we know that victories don't come without a battle first.
   When Jesus was about to go to His death on the cross, he prayed to God to let that cup of pain and agony pass from Him. His flesh did not want to go through what He knew He was about to go through.  He was vulnerable just like you and I.  Yet, Jesus did not stop there. He prayed the most powerful prayer one could pray to God, Nevertheless, not my will, but your will be done.  Many times, we also ask the same thing from God. Lord, let me avoid the trial. Keep me from that heartbreak. Keep me from that situation.  Don't let me experience sadness and weakness.  But our prayer too must evolve and mature into the words of our perfect Savior. Nevertheless not my will, but your will be done Lord.
     This year, there will be storms that we have never experienced before and new valleys to navigate.  We will have moments of frustration mixed up with the blessings. In this new year,  we must determine  in our spirits to push forward no matter the circumstances and follow God's leading. With this said, I make a new declaration, a new resolution within my heart.  Lord, this coming year, no matter what may come my way, through storm or triumph, sadness and joy, strength and weakness, I make my resolve to keep pushing forward and maintain my spirit of worship. Lord, I may not have all my prayers answered this year, but nevertheless, not my will, but your will be done.  I know many of us are tired from the battlefield, but now is not the time to rest or give up. Our ultimate victory is closer than before.So let us not shy away from the storms, but face them head-on.  Let us send a message to the enemy that come what may, we are prepared and equipped to weather the storm. After all, we already know the ending. My prayer is that God bless you and prosper you and that your prayers be answered, but my prayer also is that if this year does not go how you want it to,  that you will bless God anyways and keep pressing toward the mark.  Remember, everything is for a reason and for a season.  Just as Jesus was strengthened and ministered supernaturally to by an angel in the midst of his trial, you too will be gifted with supernatural strength from God.The deeper the valley, the more strength and grace our God will provide you. The fiercer the storm, the sweeter the victory.   May God's grace continue to keep you this year and may His power work more perfectly in you.

April

A Godly Example to My Life...Sister Nona Freeman

Today will be two years that Sister Nona Freeman has departed from this world into her true life with Jesus Christ.  I just wanted to say how much this woman of God's ministry meant to my life.  Did I ever meet her?  No. I didn't have to. Her preachings filled me such faith and helped me through some times of discouragement. It was through her sensitivity to God that I learned the power of blessing others, that God will use anyone, male or female, to see His will accomplished, and that prayer is powerful!  Through this woman's example, I was able to desire something great for my own life. It was through her fire and passion that a desire was born within me to venture out of my comfort zone to see the lost won. With my own calling set before me, I remember that all things are possible and that when God calls you to do something, He will also provide the grace to accomplish it.  Thank you Sister Freeman for being such a godly example to my life. When I was 15 years old, I wrote her a letter telling her how much I admired her and her ministry.  I never thought she would write me back, being that she had such a busy schedule.  A short time later, I received a letter from her with such uplifting words.  She gave me a Psalm to ponder over which happens to be one of my favorites today.  I pray it often and it reminds me that God is always with me and I can never run from His presence.

Psalm 139

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.  You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.  Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,  even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"  even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.  For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,  your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.  If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!  They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.  Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?  I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.  Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

What Can I Give to the King?

"And he looked up, and saw the rich men casting their gifts into the treasury.  And he saw also a certain poor widow casting in thither two mites. And he said, Of a truth I say unto you, that this poor widow hath cast in more than they all: For all these have of their abundance cast in unto the offerings of God: but she of her penury hath cast in all the living that she had."  Luke 21:1-4

During the holiday season, it's super easy to get wrapped up in all the materialism and forget the true meaning of this wonderful holiday called Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I love to give and receive gifts, but we can't forget about the birth of the most important person this world will ever know, Jesus Christ. So, it is with this in mind that I pose a very important question- what will we give to the King this Christmas? What could we possibly bring to the King who has everything.  The answer is so simple.  YOU.  He wants you. He wants ALL of you.  Not just a couple of Sundays here and there, a couple of prayers when you need him, some praises when your time permits.  He wants ALL of you.  He wants your mind, body, soul, your time, family, house, cars, job, education, your desires, your will, your thoughts, your commitment, your total surrender, everything about you, even your very own life.  He wants ALL of you.  He will not settle for just a small portion of you.  The widow mentioned in Luke gave everything she had, even though it didn't seem like much to others.  It wasn't the quantity, it was the quality of what she gave to the Lord. She gave all of her heart with that offering. You may feel like you don't have much to bring  to the Lord, but if you bring all that you have, your offering will be pleasing to God.  You may feel like a walking mess, a fragmented man or woman, a broken person, but God still wants all of you.  The woman of Luke gave from her poverty (physical and spiritual), but God still wanted her gift. It was one of the richest gifts one could give- all of what they had. Its a bit easier to give God when you are living in abundance, but it takes a true, sincere, genuine believer to give of themselves when they are facing trials and tribulations.  Christ gave us all of himself. In return, we should not hold back from doing the same. So again, I pose the question, what will you give to the King of Kings this Christmas?

Merry Christmas!

April Abigail

His Righteousness is Yours for the Keeping!

"No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment, you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is from Me,” says the LORD." Isaiah 54:17

As I drove to work this morning, this thought came to me. I pondered on the many times I fail the Lord and fall short of His glory. As the enemy tries to come in like a flood, I see God's hand keeping me and guiding me despite my shortcomings.  I could have done more, I could have prayed more, I should have fasted more, I should have spoken up more....the list of my weaknesses plays before me like a broken record.   Yet, God's grace does not decrease with my errors.

I thought amazingly about how many times God has fought my battles for me and protected me, even when I did not deserve it.  He has not allowed the enemy's weapons to harm me nor condemn me.  I realized just how merciful God truly is to me daily even when I don't quite meet the standard. Then the words hit me hard from the above verse, "Their righteousness is from me." 
    God does fight my battles for me only when I do good, but when I fail Him also.  His blessings fall on me because I'm His daughter and because He has clothed me with His righteousness.  He blesses me because of who He is, not because of who I am.  As the above verse says, we have a heritage of the Lord because He has chosen us and set us apart for His honor.  On our own, we can never do enough to merit His grace and deserve His power. He does it because He can and because He wants to.  Be encouraged my brother and sister.  If you are facing the enemy's weapons in your life and also at a place where you are falling short, reach out to God who is able and willing to fight your battle for you.  The enemy will try to condemn you, but not your Heavenly father.  He is nothing like that. Even in your shortcomings, God's love is still vibrant for you.  Be blessed.

Lions, Tigers, and Bears....Oh My!

"Many bulls have surrounded Me; Strong bulls of Bashan have encircled Me. They gape at Me with their mouths, Like a raging and roaring lion. I am poured out like water, And all My bones are out of joint; My heart is like wax; It has melted within Me. My strength is dried up like a potsherd, And My tongue clings to My jaws; You have brought Me to the dust of death. For dogs have surrounded Me;
The congregation of the wicked has enclosed Me. They pierced My hands and My feet. I can count all My bones. They look and stare at Me. They divide My garments among them, And for My clothing they cast lots. But You, O LORD, do not be far from Me; O My Strength, hasten to help Me! Deliver Me from the sword, My precious life from the power of the dog. Save Me from the lion’s mouth. And from the horns of the wild oxen!"  Psalm 22:12-21

Ever feel attacked from all sides?  Ever feel overwhelmed by the darts of the enemy?  Ever had fear grip you so hard, you almost felt like you wouldn't be able to take the next step? I'll never forget an experience I once had.  I was eighteen years old and I had just given my first Bible study to my fellow youth girls. Following the study, we got into a prayer meeting and God began to deal with our hearts. The Holy Spirit fell and some of some of us girls sat in my living room weeping in the presence of God.  The Bible study ended. We felt refreshed with a sense of purpose.  I lay in bed that night thinking about what God's plans might be for me. As I gazed up into the ceiling, something flew over my head.  I can still remember that it looked like three bats. Suddenly, I realized that these were not bats, but were evil spirits.  I called on the name of Jesus with everything in me. Immediately, those spirits left. I remember crying to my mom that night as she comforted me and prayed with me. She explained that the enemy knew that God had a purpose for me and was angry, thus the spiritual intimidation.  I wish I could say that my faith overpowered my fear, but I am sad to say that for the next two years, the enemy kept me in the bondage of fear. I couldn't sleep peacefully anymore.  My spirit was timid. I couldn't do spiritual warfare anymore. Insomnia took over my nights.  I cried often, not feeling like I could be delivered because I was too fearful to fight against the enemy.  It wasn't until two years later at a late night pentecostal service that a visiting preacher rebuked that fear from my life.  I was finally able to sleep again, but there was still that spirit of intimidation that bothered me in other ways. I still couldn't take authority in the Spirit and make war on the enemy. As I began to get into God's Word more and more in my Christian walk, I began to gain confidence in the Spirit.  I remember when I moved into my apartment at age 25 that I refused to take that fear with me.  I would not live with it any longer. I told God, Only your presence is invited into my home. I gave the enemy a message loud and clear.  I spoke with authority and told him, If you ever come into my place, you will have hell to pay. At that very moment, that spirit of intimidation left me and has not returned since.  The enemy still tries to initimidat me in other ways, but his tactics have no power over me.  Right now, I am currently being attacked in a certain area of my life.  When fear tries to control me, I remember that God already defeated the enemy at the cross. My victory is already secure. 
     When you are called of God, you are at the top of the enemy's hit list.  The enemy knows that if he can scare you, he can paralyze you. If he can paralyze you, he can keep you from doing what God has called you to do.  Jesus knew what it was like to fear. In Psalm 22, in which the death of Jesus is prophesied, it says that Jesus's enemies were coming at Him from all sides. He describes His enemies as furocious bulls, dogs, and lions.  Maybe not quite lions, tigers and bears, but close enough. lol. These animals signified the enemies who desired His destruction. They were ravenous and evil. They wanted to tear Him apart. The Psalm says that Jesus's heart melted within Him which signifies the intense fear that He felt. This fear caused his tongue to cleave to his jaw.  His strength was all dried up. Yet, despite all the fear that gripped Him, He did not allow it to stop Him from making it to the cross.  His desire to fulfill His calling overpowered His fear.
     What fears grip you at this moment? Is the enemy making you fear that God does not love you, that God doesn't care, that God won't meet your need, that you are alone, that you are a failure, that if you pursue God's calling you will fail, that you will have to give up more than God will return to you, or that God will lead you somewhere you don't want to go?  Is the enemy using people to attack you in your job, your business, or your education?  Are you facing a scary disease or sickness? Are you unsure of the future?  Is there a spirit of intimidation that has you literally in bondage?  We will all face fear now or later, but we cannot allow it to paralyze us. We must tell the enemy, You are already defeated and done with. I'm going forward anyhow!  Know that if fear has gripped you, then you are called by God. Why else would the enemy bother you?  The enemy attacks those he fears the most. Don't be afraid. Walk forward. Take that next step with confidence and faith! Don't run from your calling.  Run straight into the arms of God.  Lastly, put on the whole armor of God, for that is how you will fight against the darts of the enemy.  Ephesians 6:11-13 says,

 "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand....above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. "

My sister or brother, put on that shield of faith.  Trust that God has a wall of protection upon you that no enemy can get through. Trust that God already sees your end and it is victorious. You may not realize it, but fear is an attack on your faith.  The enemy wants to you doubt God's protection and promises from His Word.  Stay strong, God is your defense. Jesus had the victory.  So do you!  Although I sympathize with you that you are facing this attack, the truth is that I am excited for you.   God must have something so incredibly awesome for you that the devil is taking the time to attack you.  So in the name of Jesus, I say, fear Be Gone! Faith be renewed!  God's salvation is coming soon!

Altar of Sacrifice

“I beseech you therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”   Romans 12:1

Serving God is not about us.  In Pastor Rick Warren’s book, A Purpose Driven Life, the very first words are, “It’s not about you.”  Many Christians today have made serving Christ all about what he can do for them and what blessings and riches they can get from Him.  In reality, Christian service is more about what we can give rather than what we receive.   Christ paid the cost for our salvation on Calvary so He already did His part. Our Christian walk is all about giving our life back to Him in service.  Pastor Jeff Garner once said, “Salvation is free, but being a disciple of Christ will cost you everything, even your life.”   So it comes as no surprise that we are called to be a “living sacrifice.”  Further, we are told that this is our “reasonable service.”  One translation says that this is our “reasonable worship.”   Animal sacrifices were common throughout the Old Testament. They were used for atonement and worshipful gifts unto God.  But now, God is calling us to be that sacrifice. He is calling us to lay ourselves down at the altar so He can perfect the inner parts of our heart in order to make us more Christ-like. 

As you lay yourself down on the altar of sacrifice, you are saying that your dreams, your will, your future, your hopes, your everything, is in God’s hands.  You are telling God that He can do whatever He wants to you.   Like Job in the Old Testament, you are saying Even if you slay me Lord, I will still trust in in you.  It’s not easy to place our lives in the hand of another and to put ourselves in that vulnerable place.  We’ve seen all too many times in this life, how people have used their power for evil and have taken advantage of those who were vulnerable.  Sometimes, we carry this fear into our walk with God.  The altar of sacrifice can be quite uncomfortable as those fears play over and over in our head.  We begin to question God’s motives and overall, His love towards us? Will God really give me His best if I surrender everything to Him?  Will He give me evil or good?  Will God really let me live if I place myself at His altar?  You would be surprised how many people feel like God is out to destroy them.   This is far from the truth.  Jeremiah 20:11 says, “For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  The truth is, God does not want to destroy you, He wants to perfect you.  At the altar of sacrifice, He is testing your love for Him.  He wants to know that even if He does not give you what you want, that you will still serve Him and trust Him.  As God raises His hand on you, you lay there trembling, knowing that this situation may look like its meant to do you harm, but somehow, He will preserve you.  From the depths of your soul, you find the courage to trust His love for you. One song put it, you may not trust His hand, but trust His heart. 

On the altar of sacrifice, in your state of brokenness, you all of a sudden feel his soft gentle hands brush your tear-saturated cheeks and eyes. The Sovereign and mighty God who had the power to destroy you, to wipe you out with one gesture of His hand, did no such thing. He kept you. He may have broken you, but He put you back together.  It’s from that brokenness that the purest oil of worship will be produced.  He may have emptied you of yourself, but He filled you with more of Him. You are a living sacrifice.  It was messy and bloody, but all sacrifices are. Christ is our prime example of this. His body was wounded and bruised for our sin. He died the most humiliating and gruesome death on the cross.  Even when he was resurrected, the scars remained on him. Yet, what His sacrifice did for humanity was the most beautiful thing this world ever has and ever will see. My friend, it is in the aftermath of our living sacrifice where the beauty and the glory truly flows. On a side note, often, people want the glory of the cross without the sacrifice, but God will not use a life that has not been through the fire.  As you lay there, God begins to lift you up and embrace you.  His words drip like honey into your soul, “You do love me, you do love me.  You’ve trusted me and now I trust you. You are now ready for what I have for you.” 

I would like to share a poem I wrote about five years ago. I was inspired to write this after reading Romans 6:13 and Romans 12:1. I don’t think I fully understood at the time what it truly meant to let God have complete control of your life, I just knew that I desired that.  With every situation, I understand more and more that to truly serve Christ is to die to yourself daily.  Each day, we must lay ourselves at the altar of God in complete surrender to His will and His desires. I’m not all the way there yet, but I’m a work in progress.  Blessings!

Altar of Sacrifice

I am an instrument of righteousness

My melody is sweet

I yield all my members

Before my master’s feet

I die daily

My life is not my own

It is offered in sweet surrender

Before His almighty throne

I lay myself at the altar

As a living sacrifice

May He do as He pleases

With this vessel He gave life

When I begin to get weary

My desire to surrender begins to fade

I climb back on the altar

Again He gives me strength

I am an instrument of righteousness

My melody is sweet

I can do ALL things

Through Christ who strengthens me

May I Have Something to Drink?

(Note: I wrote this thought back in July 2011)

“O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is”

 Psalm 63: 1

“...And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the waters of life freely.” 

Revelation 22: 17

Dehydration is when your body loses more fluids than you actually take in.  It occurs when your body doesn’t have enough water and other fluids to carry out its normal functions.  Extreme dehydration can lead to even death. What’s interesting is that most people are dehydrated and don’t even know it.  You only need to lose 2% of your fluids in order to be dehydrated.  It is said that when we feel thirsty, we are already dehydrated.  It has been said that  human beings can live weeks without food, but only a couple of days without water. Case and point: We need water or we will become dehydrated and eventually die.

As I sit and write this, I am on a personal vacation for two weeks to Italy.  Beside me is my most wonderful treasure: my Bible.  Next to my Bible is a tall bottle of Lilia Water that I purchased just a while ago. When I began my trip to Italy, I did not take into account the weather conditions on this side of the world. I knew it would be warm as most summers are in the Mediterranean, but I wasn’t prepared for the extreme heat conditions, humidity, and enormous amount of walking I would be doing.  My first couple of days in Rome were miserable.  I was tired, felt weak, and did not feel like myself. When I started my adventure to Italy and found myself not feeling so well the first couple of days, I continued to feast on sodas.  You see, I have never been a water drinker.  I’ve always been the one to head for the sugary soft drinks, my favorite being diet coke. Often, when I get thirsty (and it is very often), I rush for a soda.  It feels great for the moment, but usually within the hour, I am thirsty once again. Water is not desirable to me; never has been. I hate the neutral taste.  The first three days, as I progressively felt worse, the sodas did not take away the nagging thirst that began to feel like death to me. When I couldn’t take the thirst and weakness anymore, I ran to a snack stand and asked for a large bottle of water.  Within moments of drinking it, I felt my strength return. I began to desire it more than ever, realizing it was the source of my strength and the only way I could finish this trip in bliss. At this point in the trip, water has become my friend. Soda, my enemy. The words of my mumsy are so clear in my head, “Soda is no substitute for water”.  I realize that in order for me to desire water, I had to experience not having it.  My thirst had to become so deep that I had no choice but to trade in my soda addiction for a water addiction.  The benefits have been great, and even when I return home, I believe my new love for water will follow me. Now let's get to the spiritual application.

     Spiritually, many of us are dehydrated. The sad part is that many of us don’t even realize it. Just like many people think they are getting enough water, but are still dehydrated, it is the same with us spiritually. We think we have our fill of God, but truly, what we are doing is not truly quenching that deep spiritual thirst inside us.  What we are doing currently is just not enough.  Our spirit is calling out for more. The Spirit is calling out for more. We are thirsty for more--more than last year, more than last month, more than even yesterday. We need more of God.  We need more of the Holy Spirit. Tapping into the spirit is not always the easiest thing to do because there are other things that vie for our attention. Just like reaching for a cold, sugar-saturated soda is always more desirable than reaching for a clear liquid glass of flavorlessness (aka water), tapping into the Spirit is not always our first choice. Why? Simply because our flesh is weak.  Its not until we submit ourselves and do it anyways that the joy follows. I can recall so many times when I didn't want to pray, but I kneeled near my bed anyways.  After a couple of moments of praising God with my dry spirit, something would break forth inside of me.  Then I didn't want to leave His presence at all!  Like many things, it takes us actually doing it in obedience for the the joy to follow.  

When we’re thirsty, its so easy to fill ourselves with others things hoping that it will take away or quench our thirst. Often, when I feel hungry, I have found that I’m really just thirsty.  Many times, I have fed myself junk food thinking myself to be hungry, but really I was just thirsty. Spiritually, we reach for others things to fill us: television, internet, Facebook, work, friends, a great social life, hobbies, money. For each of us, it is different. Unfortunately, those things can never quench our true spiritual thirst. They were never meant to. They are just substitutes, which if not eliminated or reduced from our lives, can cause spiritual death. For all us, the solution is the same.  We must fill ourselves with more of Jesus Christ and allow him to give us spiritual nourishment and quench our spiritual thirst.

    A special note to singles, having a husband or wife will not fill you like many of you think it will.  The Samaritan woman in chapter 4 of John had five husbands and obviously, each of them failed to give her the fulfillment she longed for. She was left thirsty for something more. That is why when she encountered Jesus for the first time, he offered her himself.  Often, I have found that as a single, when I am anxious for God to bring me a mate, this is a thirst signal.  Often, I don’t want to acknowledge this because it forces me to have to shift my focus from dreaming about God’ prince charming for me to focusing on God alone.  The Bible says that we are complete in him (Colossians 2:10).  This means that in this moment, we have everything we need in Jesus Christ.  He is our fulfillment, our Joy, our comforter, our guardian, our true everlasting Lover of Lovers. No man or woman can ever take that throne. 
      For those of you who have yet to surrender your life to Jesus Christ, I make an invitation to you to take that leap of faith and call out to God. He wants to be your savior and fill that thirst in you.  Your soul was made to be filled by Jesus. If you take that step, wherever you are right now, God will meet you at your thirst point. You will find His love the most fulfilling and wonderful.

So what do you say?  Are you willing to dive deeper into the Spirit and allow Jesus to quench that thirst within you? The depths of the Spirit will leave your life drenched to the point that your life will overflow with Him.  In turn, what you have will flow into the lives of others.  The first step is to get on your knees and call out to him. Even if you don't feel it, do it anyways. You will find that your spiritual dehydration will begin to disappear and God will come in and saturate you with Him. It is refreshing and exhilarating!  It is life-changing! Go ahead and take a drink!